The Burdens We Carry
by PenGirl97
Summary: "There were bags under her lifeless eyes, her skin looked paper-thin and frail, and her small frame seemed as though it was made of nothing but skin and bones."
1. Breaking Down

**Breaking Down**

"Aria!" I pleaded from the other side of the door. "Please just let me in. I want to help you."

I could hear her cries from where I was standing, pressed against the door in the hallway of her house. Luckily for me, none of her family was home. Somehow, I didn't think they would appreciate her English teacher banging on the bathroom door with their crying teen on the other side.

I ran my hands through my hair as my mind raced with what I could do or say to make her let me in. In all honesty, I didn't know how to help her. In most situations I had been the one who would give her advice, seeing as I am seven years her senior, but this wasn't an experience I had lived; this was new territory to me.

Suddenly the sound of her wails stopped, and it was more unsettling to me than the white noise of her choking for air in the bathroom.

I saw the brass knob slowly turn as her streaky and blotchy face appeared in front of me. Her tangled hair was matted to her tear stained face. Her red and rubbed raw eyes met mine briefly before she once again dodged the weight of my stare.

"I'm keeping it," she stated softly before abruptly turning around and walking to her bedroom.

"_I love you," I whispered into her ear as her giggles became deafening. _

"_Ezra, please!" Aria screamed as I continued to tickle her stomach as she wriggled beneath me._

"_You have to say it back," I said, as the smile that was spread across my face grew even wider._

_Her hazel eyes narrowed as she stared back at me._

"_You're evil," she muttered as her face inched closer to mine._

"_But you love me," I countered as my lips brushed hers._

_She rolled her eyes, "But I love you."_

"You should go. My parents and Mike will be home soon," Aria's voice said flatly.

I nodded as I walked into her room and stared down at her limp frame that was covered in thick blankets.

"Aria," I said softly as I hesitantly moved closer to her.

"Please, Ezra, don't," she begged as she rolled over in her bed to face away from me.

I nodded solemnly as I turned on my heel and walked away from her dark room.


	2. Smiling Out of Fear

**Smiling Out of Fear**

"_I wish I could stay," Aria whined as she leaned against the door to my apartment._

"_Believe me," I said with a smirk, "I wish you could stay here, too."_

_A laugh escaped Aria's mouth, and it immediately brought a smile to my face._

"_I love you, Ezra," she said as she closed the gap between us._

_I felt her lips gently press against mine as her hands snaked around my neck. My arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her body closer to mine. My tongue carefully traced the entrance of her lips as I felt her fingers begin to play with my hair. I pulled away and placed a soft kiss on the tip of her nose._

"_I love you, Aria Marie Montgomery," I said as I pulled her into a tight embrace._

_She responded by bringing her lips to mine once again, this time more forcefully._

"_Aria," I said with a chuckle with my lips still pressed against hers. "You're going to be late. Your parents are not going to appreciate your disregard for your curfew."_

_Aria groaned as she glanced down at her watch, which clearly displayed the time as 11:45._

"_I'm already going to be late, so why don't I just stay for a little longer?" Aria reasoned as she kissed me once again._

"I love you, Aria." I said softly as I closed the door to her bedroom behind me. "No matter what happens, I just want you to know that."

I glanced over my shoulder, but there was no sign that she heard a word I said. I pursed my lips as I quickly made my way out of the otherwise empty house.

I found myself driving to The Brew in search of a warm and calming environment. I knew that if I drove back to my apartment, my mind would be consumed by thoughts of worry and fear regarding Aria and my future with her.

"Can I get you something, Mr. Fitz?" I heard a cheery voice ask.

I looked up to see Emily Fields' bright face looking down at me from where I sat in the corner table.

"Ah, Emily, a coffee would be great. Thanks," I said with a smile as I wondered if Emily had any idea what Aria was going through.

"I actually wanted to ask you something, Mr. Fitz," Emily said uncertainly as she slowly sat down at the chair opposite me. "I mean, if I could."

I motioned for her to go on, but I was fairly sure I knew where this conversation was heading.

"Is she…okay?" Emily asked as her face became overcome with emotion.

I shook my head as I sighed deeply, "I don't know. She won't…she won't let me in."

Emily chewed on her lip as she nodded and blinked away the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"I'm really worried about her. I know that you must be, too…Have you spoken to her parents?"

I licked my lips as I glanced around the small coffee shop.

"No…I haven't. They don't know that we're seeing each other again, and I don't think they would be fans of the relationship since I'm teaching at Rosewood now. I'll try to talk to her again tomorrow, but it doesn't seem to be what she wants right now," I confessed as I ran my hands through my already disheveled hair.

A sympathetic expression came across Emily's face.

"She needs you right now. She might not be able to tell you, but she does. If anyone can get her through this, it's you. I just…I just want you to know that. You're helping her more than you know. Just don't give up on her. Ok? I'm going to go get your coffee."

I nodded as I checked my phone once again, vainly hoping that Aria would call me and tell me this for herself.

_The bell rang signaling the end of the period, and I watched Aria pack up her belongings in her bag._

"_Ms. Montgomery, may I see you for a moment about your paper?" I asked evenly with no emotion on my face._

_Aria nodded as a small smile played across her glossy lips._

_This was our routine, our way to keep our relationship a secret. _

"_Yes, Mr. Fitz? Did you dislike my work?" Aria asked with a pout as her eyebrows knit together._

"_Not at all, Ms. Montgomery. Actually, I found your work to be very…engaging," I said with a grin._

"_I'm glad. I really did want it to feel very intimate," she said while batting her long eyelashes. _

"_Can you come over tonight?" I asked with a laugh as I put an end to our game._

"_I can do one better than that," Aria said with a smirk as her hand inched closer to where mine was resting on my desk._

_I raised my eyebrows as I anxiously awaited her reply._

"_I can sleep over," she said with a smile and a wink._

"_Oh, thank God," I said with a groan as I threw my head back._

"_It hasn't been __**that**__long, Ezra!" Aria said as she slapped my arm._

"_I hope it's as good as I remember, Ms. Montgomery," I teased as I saw her face flush a deep red._

"_Mr. Fitz, that is vulgar!" Aria stated before breaking out into a fit of giggles._

I felt the dark and steaming liquid move its way down my throat as I took a large sip. I took out a stack of papers and began to grade them as my red pen flew over the margins, making comments and critiques. My phone began to vibrate against the wooden table; the caller ID read "Ella Montgomery".

I swallowed a lump in my throat as I answered the call and pressed it to my ear.

"Ella," I said warmly as I nervously anticipated the conversation.

"Ezra," she said in a tone that I could not dissect.

"Ah, it's been quite a while. Is there something that you need?" I desperately hoped that it was something to do with school, and not her daughter.

"Yes. It's about Aria, actually. I thought maybe you would have some insight into what's wrong with her. Maybe something having to do with your up and down relationship with her?" Ella asked eagerly.

"Uh, actually…"

Ella cut me off before I could even finish the lie I was about to tell.

"Ezra, please don't lie to me. I sincerely hope that you think more of me than that. Do you know what's wrong with my daughter? She's acting like Mike did a few years ago."

I sighed as I remembered Mike before he was treated for depression and how hard it was on Aria.

"I'm trying to help her, but…it's hard. I can't tell you what happened. She needs to be the one to tell you when she's ready. Goodbye, Ella," I said as my finger hovered over the 'end call' button.

"Ezra, wait!" Ella called out as I hung up the phone.

"_Ezra, I love you so much," Aria whispered as she lay beneath me, tangled in my dark navy sheets._

"_I love you more," I murmured into her ear as I lowered myself into her._

_I softly kissed her neck as I pushed myself deeper into her._

_Aria let out a quiet moan before laughing quietly to herself._

"_What?" I asked, suddenly alarmed that I was doing something wrong._

"_Nothing…it's just better than I remember," she said as a blush formed over her cheeks._

_I kissed her hot and flushed face as I continued to move in and out of her._


	3. Patience is a Virtue

**Patience is a Virtue**

"_What will happen to us when I go to college?" Aria asked as she absentmindedly twirled a piece of her hair around her finger._

_I stiffened before thinking about what I would say back. We had never really talked about where our relationship would stand once she went to college – possibly quite far away._

"_I don't know, but we'll make that decision when the time comes. All that I know right now is that I'm in love with you," I said as I kissed the top of her head and leaned against her._

"Aria, could I please come in?" I called out as I knocked on her bedroom door.

Ella was the only one who was home, and she had let me in before running out to do some errands.

I heard no sounds of movements on the other side of the door. I twisted the doorknob and let myself into the dreary room that Aria had isolated herself in.

"Aria," I said softly as I moved closer to her.

She acted as though she hadn't heard me and continued to stay curled up in a ball facing the window. Her eyes seemed to be intently focused on something in the bleak and grey sky that I couldn't see.

As I moved across the room and positioned myself so that I could look at her face, I saw just how much of a toll this was taking on her. There were bags under her lifeless eyes, her skin looked paper-thin and frail, and her small frame seemed as though it was made of nothing but skin and bones. I noticed that her hair was knotted and unwashed, and she was wearing the same pair of sweats as the last time I saw her.

"Aria," I tried again as I moved closer to her.

"Go away," her crackled lips murmured without her gaze once faltering from its fixed position.

"I want to help you," I whispered as I moved a hand to gently stroke her cheek.

Her eyes clamped close as if my touch had put her in an immense amount of pain.

"Just let me help you bathe and put on clean clothes. Maybe I could make you some food?"

I held my breath as I awaited her response. I couldn't bear to see her like this any longer, and I was surprised that Ella had let it get this bad.

"Would that be okay, Aria?" I asked as I stared at her face, which showed no interest in the words I was saying.

She nodded, it was so slight that I almost missed it, but it was enough for me. I scooped her up in my arms and was alarmed at her lightness as I carried her to the bathroom.

I began to run the shower as I stripped the clothes off her lethargic body. I could see almost every bone in her body poking through her pale and almost translucent skin. I tried to keep my expression neutral as I lifted her and placed her down in the shower underneath the warm water.

She didn't say a word to me as I shampooed her dark hair while she sat on the shower floor, her spine bulging out towards me.

I heard Ella come home and walk up the stairs. I wondered what she would make of this scene.

I saw Ella's expression show confusion, but then soften as tears formed in her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered to me as she closed the door behind her.

I nodded as I began to work the conditioner through Aria's knotted hair.

I could hear Mike talking and closing cabinets from the kitchen downstairs, and thought about what his take on Aria's condition was – not that any of us knew exactly what she was going through. If anything I had the most idea out of anyone, and I didn't have a clue.

I turned the water off and wrapped her small body in a plush towel as I began to try and put a comb through her ratty hair.

Thirty minutes later, Aria's hair was combed and put in a ponytail; she was dressed in clean clothes, and was sitting in a clean bed.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?" I asked tentatively as I lightly brushed her hand with mine.

The corners of Aria's mouth formed the smallest trace of a smile, but her eyes still refused to meet mine.

"Do you have any requests for food? I could always order you something?" I asked as my hand lingered over hers.

She shook her head as she lay back against the fresh pillowcases. I nodded as I slowly pulled my hand away and closed the bedroom door behind me.

As I entered the kitchen I saw Mike and Ella sitting around the kitchen table, engaged in a hushed conversation. It stopped as soon as they saw me standing in the doorway.

"Hi," I said awkwardly as I walked over to the cupboards, "I'm going to make something for Aria."

Ella nodded and let out a sigh, "She hasn't wanted food. I tried to feed her. I also tried to bathe her, but apparently she listens to you more than me."

I nodded as I pulled a can of chicken noodle soup out of the pantry and placed it on the counter.

"She's wasting away up there, Ella," I blurted out as my forehead creased.

"You don't think I know that, Ezra?" she demanded as she moved closer to me.

"I could see every bone in her body poking through her skin…there is no life in her eyes. She won't even look at me. God, Ella…I'm scared. I'm scared she won't be with us much longer if we don't do something," I confessed as the tears brimmed my eyes.

The fury and anger that was inhibiting Ella's face immediately fell away as the words left my mouth.

I could see Mike looking down and pretending to be infatuated by the kitchen table.

"I'm sorry," I murmured as I pulled out a pan and turned the stove on.

Ella's hand hovered over mine before gently touching it.

"You're right. I worry all day that she's…" Ella trailed off as she desperately attempted to blink away her tears.

"Mom, please don't say it," Mike begged as he finally spoke up.

I poured the warmed up soup into a bowl as I walked back up the stairs to see the love of my life, who was vanishing before my very eyes.

I placed the soup on a tray in front of Aria as I pulled out a book from the shelf over her bed.

"I'm going to read to you. Would that be all right? I was thinking that maybe I would read _To Kill a Mockingbird_; I know that it's one of our favorites."

I watched as Aria hesitantly brought the silver spoon up to her chapped lips.

"I was really hungry," she said quietly as her large and doe-like eyes finally met mine.

For the first time in days, a genuine smile spread across my face as I opened the book to page one and began to read.

**Please Review! There has been 1**** review for this story so far! I can see how many of you are reading, and for the number of you that are, there should be some more reviews. As much as I love writing this story, I need some feedback and encouragement from you all! R&R! Thank you, especially to the one person who took the time to review! Xoxo, PenGirl97**


	4. Breakthrough

**Breakthrough **

"_Ezra?" Aria asked softly, breaking the comfortable silence that filled my apartment._

"_Hm?" I murmured as I continued to rhythmically stroke her hair._

"_Do you think we'll be together forever?" she asked as her hazel eyes locked onto mine._

_I stared at her porcelain face that was crumpled with fear of the unknown._

"_I think," I paused to gently kiss her forehead, "that I will always be in love with you, regardless of whether we are always with each other."_

I pulled the afghan over Aria's small body after reading fifty pages of _To Kill a Mockingbird _out loud. Her body convulsed with what was sure to be one of many nightmares for the evening. The fingers on her right hand began to twitch as her face contorted into a look of pure fear.

"Aria," I soothed as I lightly rubbed her cheek with the back of my hand, "You're okay. Nothing's going to hurt you now."

Her body seemed to relax as she sunk back into the sheets and pillows with ease. Just as I was tiptoeing out of the room, Aria let out a blood-curdling shriek.

"_Ezra!" Aria squealed as she ran around my apartment, trying to avoid being captured by my arms._

"_You can run, but you can't hide, Ms. Montgomery!" I warned as I lunged at her again, this time enveloping her in a tight embrace._

_Aria screamed loudly as my arms closed around her small frame. I broke out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter as I heard my neighbors in the apartment next-door bang on our shared wall, signaling for us to quiet down._

"It happens almost every night," Ella announced from where she was standing in the hallway outside of Aria's room.

I nodded, but didn't turn around to face her. I heard Aria begin to stir as she rubbed her eyes and desperately looked around the room in search for someone, or something.

"Ezra?" she called out hoarsely, while squinting into the complete darkness that was only slightly illuminated by the dimly lit hallway.

I crossed the room and knelt down at the side of her bed, barely able to see her as I held her boney hand.

"I'm glad you came," she whispered before slowly raising up a hand and stroking my cheek with it.

"I'll always come for you," I said softly before placing my hand over the one that was resting on my cheek.

"_I'm so sorry…I didn't know who else to call," Aria said with a sheepish smile as she stumbled into the passenger seat of my car._

"_It's fine, Aria, really," I replied with a smile as I quickly kissed her on the lips._

"_Are you drunk, Ar?" The notion suddenly hit me, as I tasted the alcohol on her lips._

"_Maybe a liiiiittle tiiiny bit," Aria practically sung as she ripped her jacket off herself._

_What was I supposed to do with my drunk and underage teenage girlfriend at almost one in the morning? I surely couldn't bring her to the Montgomery household, so the only responsible thing to do would be to bring her home with me._

"_I love you so much," Aria began again as she started to slide her miniscule dress off._

"_Ah," I stuttered as I started the car and drove away before anyone could get the wrong idea, "I love you, too, Aria, but I think you should keep your clothes on."_

_A pout formed on Aria's heavily makeup clad face._

"_But why?" she countered as she reached out to touch my thigh. "Don't you want me to?"_

_My eyes widened and I tried to keep them focused on the road, and not on the half naked drunk girl beside me._

"_Aria, I love you…and naked you, but I don't think you're in the best frame of mind right now. Alright?"_

_I was hoping that would be the end of this debate, but, knowing Aria, it wasn't even close to being over._

"_Really? My mind feels great. Actually, my entire body feels great. The only thing that would make it better would be if…"_

"_Whoa. Okay," I cut her off before I had to hear the explicit details that sober Aria would never even contemplate describing to me._

"Would you stay the night?" Aria asked quietly, almost like she was embarrassed.

"Of course," I began to situate myself on the hard wooden floor as Aria's hand reached out to me once again.

"You could stay in here…in my bed…with me?" Aria suggested softly, clearly suggesting something that was out of her current comfort zone.

"Ah, of course," I said warmly as I crawled into the bed with her.

Her small body immediately became glued against me, contouring to the shape of my body.

"I'm sorry," she whispered without looking at my face.

"For what, Ar?" I asked as I tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

I glanced over at her face, but she was already fast asleep with her body still pressed flush against mine.

**R&R, everyone! Xoxo, PenGirl97**


	5. That Girl

**That Girl**

"_Promise me you'll call me if you need a ride home or anything," I said sternly as I held her face in my hands._

_Aria rolled her eyes, but her wide smile gave her appreciation for my rules away, "I swear I will, Ezra."_

"_Have fun, Ar, but don't get too drunk. I don't know if you remember last time I had to come get you, but…"_

"_Ezra!" Aria sharply cut me off, "Did you forget the other rule that goes along with me calling you for help? We don't speak of it ever again."_

_Aria sulked away to finish getting ready for the so called rager of the year, as I plopped down on my leather couch to watch whatever moderately appealing re-run I could find on TV._

_I glanced over my shoulder to see Aria adjusting her skintight mini skirt before applying another coating of mascara to her already heavily done eyes._

"_What?" She asked with a slightly annoyed expression as she caught me staring at her._

_I couldn't help but grin, "You look hot, Ms. Montgomery."_

_A smile broke out across Aria's face, and I knew that my breaking of the "sacred rule" was forgiven._

"_I'll see you later," she said before kissing me softly on the cheek, leaving behind a sticky pink mark._

_I watched her strut out of my apartment, before turning back and throwing me one last smile._

"_I love you," she called out before closing the door behind her._

_Aria's POV_

_I found myself wedged between two guys on an old couch, and they refilled my plastic cup every time it got to the halfway mark. I could feel myself slowly slipping into the familiar state of relaxation as the alcohol washed over my body. By the time I had lost counts of how many drinks I had consumed, I didn't even mind the two men that were incessantly bothering me not to go._

_I felt a rough and unfamiliar hand slowly rub the inside of my thigh as another hand began to grab my right breast. Shock and terror immediately began to take over my body, and the lack of control I felt between the effects of the alcohol and the paralyzing fear were almost overwhelming. _

_I opened my mouth to scream for help, but the pressure of someone's wet lips on mine silenced my cries. The hot tears were the only things that felt real as they crept out of the corner of my eyes and down my cheeks, dragging my carefully applied eye makeup with them._

"_Please don't," I whimpered as the two men hoisted me up and shoved me into a nearby bathroom._

"_I'll watch the door," one of the men said with a smirk, "you can have her first."_

_**Have me?**__ My mind was racing as I was pushed back against a wall in the small and cramped restroom. The hands of my perpetrator quickly peeled off my seductive clothing and discarded it in a random corner of the room._

_The sick smile that came over his face when he saw my nearly naked body caused me fall to the ground and dry heave on the tiled floor. As his large hands reached out to once again carelessly caress my body and hoist me up, I kicked him in the shin. My small yet powerful kick sent him staggering backwards, but it took him no time at all to be standing back in front of me._

_His eyes narrowed as he stared at my face. He raised one of his rough hands and brought it to my cheek, leaving a bright red mark from what I could see in the small bathroom mirror._

"_Please…don't do this," I pleaded one last time as the man tied my skimpy tank top around my face, creating a gag to stop my cries and noise._

_There was a single knock on the wooden door, which made the man move faster, ripping off my underwear and bra._

_He dropped his own pants, causing me to close my eyes in hope that it would all go away and fade into a bad dream._

_I felt a change in myself as he began to pump himself in and out of me. I let go of what I could hear and feel around me; I let myself not think or process what was going on. I couldn't bear to face the facts: I was being raped._

_Ezra's POV_

_I groaned and rolled over as I heard a banging that awoke me from my peaceful nap on my living room couch. I placed a decorative pillow over my head, hoping that whatever it was would stop._

_As the noise continued on, I jumped up from the couch and rubbed my bleary and sleepy eyes._

_I whipped open the door to my apartment to find Aria standing in the beige and dimly lit hallway._

_Her excessive makeup had run from its previous location, her long hair was knotted and tangled, her suggestive clothing was ripped, and there was a bruise forming on her right cheekbone. _

"_Aria?" I murmured as I staggered out into the hallway towards the broken girl who stood in front of me. _

_She shook her head as she backed away, eventually bumping into the wall with her back._

"_Aria, what…" I moved closer to her, this time reaching her before she could move away._

_She sunk to the ground and curled up in a ball as the tears began to uncontrollably pour from her eyes. The only sound in the dead silent hallway was her sobs, wails, and irregular breathing._

"_Aria, look at me," I begged as I gently lifted her chin up with the palm of my hand. "Tell me what happened, Ar."_

"_Two men…" Aria stopped as a new wave of tears began to fall._

"_Aria, what about the two men? Did they do this to you?" I motioned to her bruised cheek, but the only answer I got was the sound of her cries._

**R&R! I don't know how this storyline came to my head, but one day I woke up and had the idea for this story. I know a lot of you are confused, but I promise (or hope) that it will all make sense in the end! Xoxo, PenGirl97**


	6. Look After You

**Look After You**

I rolled over beneath the warm covers of Aria's small bed, and found myself stretched out over the entire bed. I suddenly sat up in a panic as I realized that she was no longer lying beside me. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and shivered when my bare feet hit the cold wooden floor.

"Ezra?" I heard a small voice call out as the door to the bedroom opened.

"Aria?" I murmured as I walked towards the open door. "What are you doing up?"

Her hazel eyes looked up at mine before she answered with a sly smile.

"I couldn't sleep."

My forehead wrinkled in worry as I took in her appearance; she looked infinitely better than she had just a few days ago. She was now able to bathe herself, comb her own hair, and feed herself. Aria no longer relied on me for her basic care, which both encouraged and scared me – I didn't want to be useless to her, and helping her do these mundane tasks was the only way I knew how to help her.

"Ezra, please don't look at me like that. I've been sleeping and resting for over a week now. I haven't left the house since I don't know when…I'm going stir crazy in here. Me not being tired has nothing to do with…" her brows furrowed as she crossed her arms protectively over her chest, "with what you think it does."

"I'm not thinking it has to do with anything, but if you're having trouble sleeping then maybe we could…"

Aria cut me off sharply, "Ezra, please don't go there. I don't want to talk to someone about this. I can barely talk to you about it."

"And maybe that's a problem," I countered quickly, but regretted it instantly.

She looked taken aback as her face fell and tears began to brim in her large eyes.

"Aria, I didn't mean…" I reached out to touch her arm, but she took a step back and avoided my gaze and touch.

"I'm used to everyone treating me like I'll go mental any moment, but I thought you at least saw me as the same girl…I'm not some victim. It might have taken me a little while, but I don't need everyone to be constantly watching me anymore. Ok?"

"I know. I'm sorry, Aria. I didn't mean that," I whispered.

I studied her face for a moment before taking another step towards her. She bit her lip and looked up at me before resting her head on my chest. I pulled her body close to mine and softly rubbed her back.

Aria suddenly stepped back from me and stared at my face for a moment before slowly bringing her lips to mine. The kiss was light and short, but surprised me all the same.

"Aria…" I began as I held her hands in mine.

"I just needed to make sure that I wasn't afraid of this…of being like that with you."

I nodded as I embraced her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

"_Aria, what did the two men do to you?" I questioned as I sat on the floor of the hallway next to her, thankful that I didn't have many neighbors. _

_Aria shook her head fiercely as she turned her face away from me and her small body began to shake again as a new wave of tears hit her. _

"_Aria, please…please tell me what happened. I can't help you unless you tell me," I begged. _

"_You can't help me, anyway, Ezra," Aria murmured._

"_What do you mean, Aria? Of course I can," I said as convincingly as I could._

"_They raped me," she whispered._

_I felt my heart drop into my stomach as I rose onto numb and shaky legs. My hands were balled up into tight fists as I paced the hallway. I rubbed my clammy hands over my face before I turned and punched the off-white wall; my adrenaline keeping me from feeling the force of the blow. _


	7. I'm Afraid

**I'm Afraid Somebody Else Might Take My Place**

"So, today's the big day," I exclaimed as I climbed over Aria and out of her bed.

"The big day…" she murmured before putting her face into the warm pillow.

"Aren't you excited? Maybe just a little bit?" I questioned as I pulled my white T-shirt over my head.

"I'm…anxious," Aria mumbled before rolling onto her back and staring at me.

The door suddenly swung open, and Aria's eyes lazily tracked the movement of the brown wood that gave us privacy from the rest of her household.

"Uh," Mike stammered as his eyes fell upon my half-nakedness, "Mom wanted me to tell you guys that it's almost time for breakfast and that Aria better be up because she's not missing another day of school."

"Thanks, Mike," I said with a warm smile as his eyes attempted to dodge the sight of my bare chest at a mere seven in the morning.

Aria's feet suddenly hit the floor as she pushed herself up from the bed and towards her closet.

"Do you want me to come with you this afternoon?" I asked her casually, but inwardly praying that she would say yes.

"I…" she trailed off as she held up a printed dress to herself, "I'm not sure yet, Ezra."

"Yeah," I replied as I turned away to discard my flannel pajama pants, "that's fine."

Aria sighed as she put the dress back in the closet and turned to face me.

"I'm sorry…I just don't know if I can go through with it if you're there," she confessed as she pulled on a pair of grey skinny jeans that still hung a little loose on her small frame that had withered away from a few days of not eating.

"No," I shrugged as my eyes landed on her protruding hipbone, "it's fine – whatever makes you comfortable. I just want what's best for you. Don't' worry about me."

I gave her the most convincing smile I could as I fastened my tie around my neck, the same tie that Aria had bought me for our first date; the night we went to Philadelphia to see the gallery opening for the artist who never showed up.

I saw a faint smile play across Aria's lips, but it quickly vanished as she pulled a burgundy blouse over her head and selected a leather jacket from the rack in front of her.

"Are you nervous for school? Or for later?" I wondered out loud as I stood behind Aria and tried to do something about my seemingly unruly hair that was sticking in every direction.

Aria sat on the edge of her unmade bed as she bit her lip and slid a pair of motorcycle boots on her small feet.

"I'm scared of what people are going to ask me. I don't know what they've heard, or if they have any idea why I spent so long being absent, but I'm terrified of going this afternoon. I wish things were different," Aria choked out as she wiped away a small tear and quickly brushed by me and into the bathroom.

"Aria," I walked out of her room and into the bathroom that her and Mike shared, "no matter what happens…it's not going to change the way I feel about you. I love you no matter what. There is nothing in this world that could make what we have feel wrong. You and I will always feel right."

"_Ezra, please, that's not going to fix anything now," Aria pleaded from her slouched position against the hallway wall._

_I was leaning against the wall opposite her, with my forehead resting against the dent I had just made with my fist. _

"_Look at me, Ezra," Aria begged as I heard her breathing become ragged._

_I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to shut out the images that were protruding my thoughts; mental pictures of two men hurting her, tainting her, stripping her of the slight innocence that made her Aria._

_I turned around slowly and let my eyelids flutter open as my vision focused solely on her._

"_Aria," my voice felt strained, and the sound came out strangled, "I'm so sorry."_

_The pulsing in my head was almost unbearable as my eyes began to feel hot with the promise of tears._

"_I shouldn't have let you go to that party," I raked my hands through my hair as I stared up at the ceiling and dim lights, "I should have been selfish and insisted that you stay with me…I should have just – "_

"_Ezra," Aria interrupted as she reached a scraped up hand towards me, "this isn't your fault…please just sit with me…I just want you to be here with me. Can we just be here?"_

_I nodded as I sunk down next to her against the dully-painted wall. Her fingers gently laced through mine, and I tried my best to blink away the tears before they fell. I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't there for her before when she needed me, but I would make up for it now._

I stood in the doorway of my classroom, leaning against the frame as I watched Aria's friends run up to her and embrace her tightly in a group hug. A giant smile came across Aria's face as she opened her locker and engaged in the gossip that she had missed out on over the past couple weeks. I saw people staring at her, wondering what had happened that left her absent for such a long time, but I mentally willed them not to ask her.

"Ezra," I heard a woman's voice say as my focus turned from Aria to her mother.

"Ella," I said with a smile as I motioned for her to come into my empty classroom.

"I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done. On behalf of me and Byron."

I shook my head and shrugged and took a seat in the chair behind my desk.

"Of course. I would do anything for your daughter," I said as I rearranged the papers on my desk, with an odd feeling that I knew what was coming next.

"Aria still hasn't told us," Ella began as she moved closer to my desk, "she hasn't told us what happened that night. All that I know is that she was at a party and something bad happened, but she won't tell me any more than that. I know that you said you couldn't –"

"Ella," I interrupted with an apologetic glance, "I can't tell you. I couldn't tell you then, and I can't tell you now. I'm sorry, but it's just…it's not right that you hear it from me. When Aria's ready, she'll tell you."

She let out a long sigh and blinked back impending tears.

"It's just hard to not know how to help her. Maybe if I knew what was wrong – "

"Ella, you couldn't help her with this, even if you knew," I confessed as I saw a line begin to form outside of my classroom as the minutes before the bell rang began to dwindle. "Let's continue this talk later, I've got some eager students to teach," I said with a lighthearted laugh.

Ella walked towards the door as the students began to pour in, afraid to get any points for being late to their first period class.

"_And you really want to watch the same movie for the sixteenth time?" I asked with a teasing smile as I carried the popcorn over to where Aria was sitting on the couch._

"_It's my favorite," Aria countered as she moved closer to me, "and who said anything about watching it?"_

_I raised my eyebrows as I turned to look over at Aria, who was wearing a devious grin._

"_Aria Montgomery!" I said incredulously, "I'm not sure what to think about what you're trying to insinuate."_

"_I think," Aria whispered as she climbed on top of me with one knee on each side of my hips, "that you spend entirely too much time thinking. Don't you think?"_

_I nodded furiously as her lips crashed down on mine and her hips started a soft grinding motion above me. _

_Her tongue gently caressed my bottom lip and her fingers lightly traced the back of my neck, sending shivers down my spine._

_Aria pulled away from me for a moment to lift her camisole over her head._

"_It's hot in here. Aren't you hot?" she whispered huskily into my ear._

"_I am now," I murmured as her lips once again found mine._

_Without breaking our kiss, her hands nimbly reached behind her back to unclasp her lacy bra._

"_Oh, man," I breathed as I opened my eyes to the sight in front of me, "I love you."_

_**A/N:**_

_**So, just to let you know, the flashbacks won't always go in order. R&R! Xoxo, PenGirl97**_


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